see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
