If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Randomize
