last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
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