Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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