My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
