I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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