new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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