dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
