is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
