I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize