If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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