I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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