You're completely useless in the revolution.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
