this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
