He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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