C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
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