...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
