the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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