On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
