she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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