I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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