A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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