It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
