Texts From Last Night

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  (678): View more from Georgia

  did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband

  (404): View more from Georgia

  did it work?

  (678): View more from Georgia

  nope

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  (678): did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband (404): did it work? (678): nope http://tfl.nu/53k6
  Replies (44) Good night (735) Bad night (2117)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  Soap is not a condiment

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  (805): Soap is not a condiment http://tfl.nu/gm1k
  Replies (6) Good night (658) Bad night (1084)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti

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  (770): I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti http://tfl.nu/zbwe
  Replies (36) Good night (23351) Bad night (1312)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?

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  (313): ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too? http://tfl.nu/07vv
  Replies (67) Good night (662) Bad night (2645)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.

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  (208): all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem. http://tfl.nu/lmoj
  Replies (32) Good night (3408) Bad night (1404)
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  (325): View more from Texas

  Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero

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  (325): Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero http://tfl.nu/zl6f
  Replies (58) Good night (6554) Bad night (1132)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness

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  (505): I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness http://tfl.nu/jgsm
  Replies (8) Good night (2576) Bad night (928)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.

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  (413): I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD. http://tfl.nu/g1bn
  Replies (6) Good night (1295) Bad night (542)
• Favorite

  (325): View more from Texas

  You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...

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  (325): You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis... http://tfl.nu/1zk4
  Replies (6) Good night (1160) Bad night (1027)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.

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  (541): Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad. http://tfl.nu/nlxo
  Replies (1) Good night (555) Bad night (1307)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.

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  (302): This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy. http://tfl.nu/3zpx
  Replies (2) Good night (894) Bad night (360)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her

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  (865): He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her http://tfl.nu/a25x
  Replies (4) Good night (869) Bad night (455)
• Favorite

  (915): View more from Texas

  God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.

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  (915): God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high. http://tfl.nu/a3ox
  Replies (4) Good night (1113) Bad night (394)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.

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  (804): The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation. http://tfl.nu/w1hq
  Replies (6) Good night (965) Bad night (378)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.

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  (732): We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of. http://tfl.nu/cdwl
  Replies (1) Good night (500) Bad night (279)

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