Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?

  (323): View more from California

  Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her

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  (415): Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________? (323): Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her http://tfl.nu/qxlw
  Replies (3) Good night (1312) Bad night (514)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.

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  (615): I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked. http://tfl.nu/9nla
  Replies (31) Good night (1160) Bad night (4611)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.

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  (563): The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic. http://tfl.nu/t1x0
  Replies (10) Good night (4738) Bad night (1100)
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking

  (404): View more from Georgia

  how did that work out?

  (478): View more from Georgia

  Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...

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  (478): So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking (404): how did that work out? (478): Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder... http://tfl.nu/o1yp
  Replies (15) Good night (5388) Bad night (1711)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls

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  (954): im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls http://tfl.nu/n5en
  Replies (13) Good night (7024) Bad night (1111)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.

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  (902): Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands. http://tfl.nu/svno
  Replies (16) Good night (3458) Bad night (1472)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip

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  (703): drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip http://tfl.nu/b5at
  Replies (12) Good night (3053) Bad night (1127)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"

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  (315): That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm" http://tfl.nu/evrk
  Replies (7) Good night (897) Bad night (3004)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope

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  (678): I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope http://tfl.nu/y4eb
  Replies (3) Good night (1618) Bad night (835)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.

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  (508): Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated. http://tfl.nu/0bri
  Replies (18) Good night (4416) Bad night (820)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.

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  (480): Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god. http://tfl.nu/3e8t
  Replies (2) Good night (914) Bad night (330)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.

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  (973): i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls. http://tfl.nu/jxeo
  Replies (5) Good night (663) Bad night (299)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.

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  (479): He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes. http://tfl.nu/8po9
  Replies (1) Good night (467) Bad night (286)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.

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  (859): Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people. http://tfl.nu/v0oj
  Replies (5) Good night (867) Bad night (315)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?

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  (714): I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve? http://tfl.nu/wdxs
  Replies (1) Good night (628) Bad night (281)

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