Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(951): View more from California

hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.

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(951): hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit. http://tfl.nu/lqvy

Replies (22) Good night (4051) Bad night (1343)
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(707): View more from California

Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.

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(707): Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping. http://tfl.nu/7pjn

Replies (47) Good night (3448) Bad night (1224)
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(571): View more from Virginia

i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.

(570): View more from Pennsylvania

so you made the shocked face and they caught you.

(571): View more from Virginia

yup.

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(571): i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise. (570): so you made the shocked face and they caught you. (571): yup. http://tfl.nu/1dzq

Replies (19) Good night (1380) Bad night (5237)
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(636): View more from Missouri

Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.

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(636): Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half. http://tfl.nu/fs6e

Replies (83) Good night (22461) Bad night (962)
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(219): View more from Indiana

So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.

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(219): So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on. http://tfl.nu/rrpe

Replies (9) Good night (4102) Bad night (635)
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(434): View more from Virginia

because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?

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(434): because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july? http://tfl.nu/9gcl

Replies (43) Good night (6904) Bad night (972)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa

(603): View more from New Hampshire

I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...

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(603): Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa (603): I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel... http://tfl.nu/ns98

Replies (11) Good night (3296) Bad night (873)
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(512): View more from Texas

you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday

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(512): you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday http://tfl.nu/6yij

Replies (2) Good night (2294) Bad night (586)
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(540): View more from Virginia

Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up

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(540): Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up http://tfl.nu/xh5q

Replies (18) Good night (1036) Bad night (2636)
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(219): View more from Indiana

You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.

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(219): You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty. http://tfl.nu/gbls

Replies (5) Good night (2293) Bad night (647)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I just can't deal with that sentence

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(724): We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion (412): I just can't deal with that sentence http://tfl.nu/b4b0

Replies (3) Good night (1701) Bad night (540)
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(339): View more from Massachusetts

100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before

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(339): 100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before http://tfl.nu/n0g6

Replies (5) Good night (929) Bad night (386)
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(310): View more from California

When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos

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(310): When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos http://tfl.nu/izqt

Replies (6) Good night (727) Bad night (290)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.

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(919): Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes. http://tfl.nu/z2vt

Replies (0) Good night (508) Bad night (177)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.

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(405): If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here. http://tfl.nu/2ha3

Replies (4) Good night (242) Bad night (464)

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