my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
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