Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
your room smells of hookers.
And success
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Randomize
Follow @tfln