um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
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Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
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Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.