ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
