How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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