So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
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I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
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She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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