Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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