Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
