She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
