Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
My vagina is officially offended.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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