Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
