i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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