jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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