Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
