She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
