two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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