didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
