Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize