Where are you?
In a non slutty way
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Blow job season was short but glorious.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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