The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
