hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
