She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
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He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
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Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize