Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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