I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
