Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
When did angry sex become our thing?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
My life is pants optional.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
