i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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