We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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