Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
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The beer is more important than you right now.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
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I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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