I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Randomize
