That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
