From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months