Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men