go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
