Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
