The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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