She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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