I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
