Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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