if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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