just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
