Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
