remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
