Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
